Rector’s Note: How can we help-7.24.35

Offering care is one of St. Peter’s greatest charisms, those gifts that God places in us to share with other people. It’s reflected in our Pastoral Care team; in our dedicated parish nurse, Kristina Marchuk; in our Lunch Club gatherings; our healing prayer services on Wednesdays; in Sue Gordon’s card ministry; in Deacon Bob’s work with community members in need; and in the day-to-day concern that parishioners express for one another. Need a prayer square? Just ask Mary Rivera, who hands them out as fast as our Parish Purlers can make them.

Still, there are times when I’m surprised to learn that someone has been going through a crisis that no one is aware of, especially me: an elderly parishioner has a fall and spends a week in the hospital or moves to an extended care facility; someone’s dear friend or family member has a long-term illness and is now near death; someone has lost a job and is struggling financially; a parishioner loses a dear friend or relative or parent and is in deep grief.

A caring note, or conversation, or visit by members of the church family, including your priest, can bring a great deal of comfort. Yet often, I hear, “Oh, I didn’t want to bother you, you’re so busy.” Or when I offer to put someone on the prayer list I’m told, “Not yet, things aren’t that bad yet. I’ll let you know.”

And I get it – sometimes in a crisis it’s hard to know whom to reach out to, or what the need is exactly. Some of us are very private. Others would much rather be on the giving end of care than on the receiving end. It can be very hard to admit to yourself – let alone your priest – that you are in spiritual, emotional or financial need.

And yet. Visiting, listening, praying, assisting – this is at the heart of parish work, of my vocation as priest. We are never too busy for this. I am never too busy for this – it comes with the collar. And if you or someone you love is in pain or need, there are many ways that I or other ministers here at St. Peter’s are ready to serve.

First, we can pray. Every Wednesday at our healing service, we name every person and prayer intention that is listed on the extended prayer list, which is significantly longer than the immediate needs that we lift in our Prayers of the People on Sunday. Some are just first names. Others have been on the list a very long time. But we take those names to heart and lift them to God. We celebrate when a prayer is answered or an illness has passed. To add your name or the name of another, just email it to the office at stpeter654@gmail.com, and we’ll add it to the list and lift that name in prayer.

But don’t stop there. Please let me know directly if you or someone you care about is struggling. I am happy to talk by phone, to listen, to visit, or just to lift the need in my personal prayer. I don’t always have answers – sometimes I will make referrals to others with the expertise that I don’t have, like our parish nurse. But I am here to be your pastor. And sometimes just having someone listen as you discover the words that describe your need offers clarity and eases the stress that can get in the way of your own solutions. There are many needs that we are all capable of getting through on our own, but why should we?

What kind of care would you like to receive from your priest and your parish? Sometimes the middle of a crisis is not the easiest moment to figure this out. So I invite you to give this some thought now. You might even jot it down to help consider next steps in more challenging times.

When would you like us to pray for you or someone you love – either confidentially or communally? When would you like a visit from clergy or a volunteer minister? If you can’t come to church regularly, would you like us to bring you Communion? If you are facing a medical procedure, would you like prayer before or after? If you are moving into a new home, would you like it to be blessed? If you or someone you love were gravely ill, would you like to be anointed or prayed with for healing? If you were feeling lonely or blue, would you like someone to listen to you, or just sit and be present with you or check in by phone? If you are in financial need, would you like some help?

If you have posted a concern or need on Facebook or social media, would you let us know about it as well, if you’d like pastoral support? While we sometimes find out that our parishioners are in need that way, other times we are not in that loop.

If you are in a personal or family emergency or crisis, you can call or text me any time for prayer or pastoral care. I mean it. I will get to you as soon as I can. My work cell phone is 215-702-6073. If that fails, my home cell phone number is 814-380-4611. If I’m not in town, I will have people covering pastoral emergencies. If you can’t reach me for some reason, please call a warden.

If you live alone, can we be among your supports if something goes wrong? Often church friends are the first to notice if someone’s usual patterns change. But we don’t always have the names of those to contact if we can’t reach you, if you aren’t answering your phone and can’t be found. We’re not above doing a wellness check, but we’d much rather have a number on file to call if we’re worried about your well-being. Kristina Marchuk has a blog post in today’s newsletter that covers that as well. Our pastoral care team will be working to make sure that we have better emergency contact information for parishioners, especially those who live alone. Consider whom you would like us to reach out to. Contact the parish office to update the information that we have on file for you.

Do your family members, friends or caretakers know how to contact us if you can’t? Sometimes when family members become the point people for a parishioner’s crisis, they might not know their loved one’s wishes for their priest or their parish friends to be contacted. You might include this information in your personal papers and your consent forms if someone unfamiliar with your church family is stepping in. This is especially important if you must be moved to a new address, or a hospital or rehab facility and don’t have the ability to let us know.

And not just in the bad times! All of this sounds like your church community is only available in crises. But if you’ve been around St. Peter’s for any amount of time, you know that we also love to party, celebrate, share good news, have cake. We want to celebrate you on the Sunday closest to your birthday or anniversary, bless your pets, pray for your comings and goings, cheer you and loved ones on when they have good news to share. It’s all part of being a community of people rooted in God's love, growing through God's grace, reaching out to all.